At some point during the night, I dreamed that I murdered one of my neighbors. Not the first time that I dreamed something like that, but hey, this time was different.
I dreamed that I was /going/ to do it, then that I /had/ done it, but I did not dream the part where I actually hacked him to pieces with an ax. What the dream seemed to center on most was that there was so much evidence against me, there was so much investigation around me, but there was like absolutely no memory of me doing it, nor any motive for me to have done it. Claire knew I did it, but was like, supporting me. I did not want Mom to find out that I had done it. Dad was fairly indifferent to him being dead, but did not think that I did it, or at least was supporting my claim of innocence. (Although I do not remember dreaming that I ever said one way or another that I did it.)
So, I was sure that I had done it. From the circumstances, so was Claire, but she was answering questions to say that I had not. Dad, unlike Claire, seemed to be just presuming my innocence. If he actually thought otherwise, he never said.
So, I would wake up in a panic, worried about the step in the investigation, wander about the house until I fell asleep again, then dream the next part of the investigation, and so on.
I am typing this out now, if for nothing else, to convince myself that it was just a dream. Today is just the day after yesterday. Yesterday, no one was investigating me for murder. The dream spanned several days, so there is not enough time in the before until now for this to have actually have happened.
So - surely it is a dream.
Unless they find my neighbor hacked to pieces with an ax and the whole dream was just my fears for the days to come.
I hope. I mean, surely, it was just a dream. I will feel better after I see the guy out and about.