Friday, October 29, 2010

Getting my BOINC on

I have not been running boinc/rosetta since my computer went to pieces in my bike wreck.

I (finally) after this last round of OS re-configs, got my boinc going again:

======== Projects ========
name: rosetta@home
master URL:
user_name: Lady Quindecim

(in case you were wondering)
Just the one project.

Have a Halloween "party" to go to w/ Dad tomorrow (Saturday - so, a day early).  So, Sunday we will be hanging out at the community house sort of thing.

Am I dressing up?  No.  I like it an all, but I am not really up to dressing up this year.

As for however you and yours do things, I don't know, but I will wish you all a happy Día de los Muertos or whatever it goes by in your culture.

So, Take Care and stuff-

Friday, October 22, 2010

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

For me, that is a Blade Runner reference - in case anyone was wondering.

So, yes... I am home again from "the big city."  I did not get to see much of it, but that is fine.

Most of all, I am happy to have my interwebz again so I can see all of you all again.  It was rough this past week without this outlet.  It was like a part of me could not exist.

No, I am not going to get into all the details of my (seeming) incarceration. It is not that interesting or I would rather put it all behind me or something like that.

I come on to read that Linux Mint 10 RC is out.  Cool.

I feel an OS upgrade in my near future.  Because, you know, I am me, after all.

So, I would write some of my many nightmares, but they have all kind of blurred themselves together into one dark, bloody, fiery, horror and I cannot really separate them out.

Anywho, it is good to be back online.

Take Care-

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

To The City

Getting ready for my last trip to "the big city" before winter hits in earnest.  Just the usual stuff

Yeah, I go every few months, but that is not the same as when I was moving between Dad's and Mom's every summer.

I never really collected "stuff" in general, but especially not the past seven or eight years.  However, I still have ended up accumulating more in the past couple years than I had the other 6 put together.

I blame having a best friend (other than Dad.)  Not blame in a bad way, but just kinda... explain it that way.  Looking around (other than the fencing, cycling and computer paraphernalia) most of what is around are things Clare related.  I find this odd.  It is not so much that is it bothering me.  I am not having to struggle with weird emotions or anything - like I have to burn it all, or break/cut everything into little pieces.  I (hope I) am past that. But it would be more stuff to pack if I moved.  Well, not so much if I just moved back to Mom's... I'd leave it here for the spell.

On the other hand, I have a good number of books out on loan to Claire.  Which is fine.  I'll probably take them to a book shop upon their return.

Mom has promised no surprise events this trip.  It is (mostly) utilitarian.  But it is not like have that much faith in her promises when it comes to the kind of surprises she has dealt in the past.  Most things, sure, but...

On the other hand, she is understanding more that things that she thinks are "no big deal" can really freak me out, so maybe she really will keep her promise.

Again, it is not like she makes a promise knowing she will not keep it, it is just that she has not considered these parties, weddings, whatnot to be inclusive in the "No surprises" category.

But enough about all this.  I still need to get ready.  I have a lot of house cleaning and stuff to do before I travel.

Sigh.  And I have to plan what music to take with me.  Here is what I've got so far:

Kon Kan                 Peter Schilling
3 Doors Down            Pet Shop Boys
Alice In Chains         Lily Allen
Stone Temple Pilots     Camouflage               
Maroon 5                Matchbox Twenty              
The Killers             The Stone Roses                    
Third Eye Blind         Yaz  
Indecent Obsession      Orgy                         

And I will be adding Tones on Tail and OMD at the least.

Take Care-

Friday, October 8, 2010

How many days until Halloween?


It is Friday.

Yes, congratulations, it is another Friday.

Sorry I have not been feeling well as of late.  No, I am not apologizing to anyone about that.  I am feeling sorry for myself.  Again, my blog = my pity. Or whatever.

It is more of an emotional feeling-not-good than any more health deterioration.  I mean, yeah, there is that major, progressive downhill spiral - which is a big part of it - but I have been in a real mood-funk.

Yeah, I set up this blog thing to talk about my feelings and stuff, so I am.  *This* is one of those posts that I do not expect any feedback on. 'Cause I'm just letting out ramblings.

I had been in a playlist rut, so yesterday, I changed it up to try and lift my spirits.  Here is a sample:

  [196/4397] Sugarcubes - The Great Crossover Potential - Walkabout (Unknown:03:49)
  [197/7157] Daft Punk - Discovery - Nightvision (Club-House:01:44)
  [198/4393] Sugarcubes - The Great Crossover Potential - Planet (Unknown:03:24)
  [199/3498] Katy Perry - One Of The Boys - Thinking Of You (Adult Alternative Pop:04:06)
  [200/2240] Junkie XL - Saturday Teenage Kick - War (Big Beat:02:47)
  [201/52] Information Society - Information Society - Make It Funky (Dance:00:30)
  [202/3002] Ministry - Twelve Inch Singles - Nature Of Love (Cruelty Mix B) (Unknown:06:52)
  [203/6433] Yelle - Pop-Up - Les Femmes (Dance:04:15)
  [204/2548] Lords Of Acid - Greatest T*ts - [Kitty] (Unknown:04:05)
  [205/471] Basshunter - Now You're Gone The Album - Angel In The Night (Dance:03:23)
  [206/7125] Daft Punk - Discovery - Nightvision (Euro House:01:44)
  [207/2243] Junkie XL - Saturday Teenage Kick - Fight (Big Beat:05:38)
  [208/7273] Yelle - Pop-Up - Mon meillur ami (Dance:03:57)

It did not help.  I was _really_ down yesterday afternoon.

I think I have been alienating what few friends I have.  The real problem there is that I am not sure that is a bad thing.  Maybe some distance is what I need.

Oh, and sorry about the "Unknown"s there in the genre field.  I ought to update the tags, but... IDK.  Why?

So, pensive lately, or just staring into space.  I don't even know.  Sometimes I think I am thinking about stuff, but I am either loosing whatever it is that I was thinking about as soon as I come out of it, or I'm mistaken about having something on my mind.

Sometimes I just... have an emotion that I can't really describe.  It feels a little like loss, a little like I am misunderstood, a little like I don't want to be understood, a little like I should get over it, but just don't want to.  It's a weird feeling and I just want everyone to go away.

Yeah, I went to fencing last night.  I fenced, but really kept to myself when not on strip.  Not consciously, mind you, but it just happened that way.  Even on strip, I felt spotlighted and that really bothers me.  I was never so longing to just go back home.  That really bothers me to.  Should I be glad that these things are bothering me?  Does this mean I have not given up completely?  Maybe.

It is not that I feel like I have given up.  I don't know that I would know what it feels like to feel like I have given up.  What I really don't know is if I care if I give up.

Okay.  So.  Well, there it is.  Maybe I will follow this up with a more up-beat post shortly.

Until then,
Take Care-