Top Fifteen Comical or Amusing Quotes

Top Fifteen Comical or Amusing Quotes (in no particular order that I will admit to):
01) "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it." - Groucho Marx
02) "Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. They fight" - Johnny Cash
03) "I like a man who grins when he fights." - Winston Churchill
04) "The Linux philosophy is 'Laugh in the face of danger'. Oops. Wrong One. 'Do it yourself'. Yes, that's it." - Linus Torvalds
05) "Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true." - Niels Bohr
06) "We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming." - Wernher von Braun
07) "Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes." - Edsger Dijkstra
08) "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing." - Robert Benchley
09) Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality. - fortune
10) "When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein
11) "Life is hard. After all, it kills you." - Katharine Hepburn
12) "I was the kid next door's imaginary friend." - Emo Philips
13) "I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else." - Lily Tomlin
14) "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." - Mark Twain
15) "Either he's dead or my watch has stopped." - Groucho Marx

Ok... I know a couple of these are from movies, but come on... they are good.