Monday, November 29, 2010

Where do I even begin?

Actually, I have no issue with trying to figure out where to begin... I am a chronological kinda girl.

Lets see... Wed, picking up Mum.
Before we left, Amy called. She was being all sympathetic with the strain of having everyone over and wanted to know if having her here too was going to be too much. I assured her - with no pretense - that I wanted here there most of all. So, she was happy.
In the car, on the way to the airport, Dad was saying, "I know your Mum stresses you out a bit when she comes over and tries to run the house," and I say, "Gee... ya' think?" and he was like, "she just feels bad about not being able to host these shin-digs and wants to take some of the load off us." And I was like, "So, yeah, she means well, but it would be so much easier if she would just kick back and relax." So, of course, Dad comes back with, "Have you ever /told/ her that?"
What could I say? I hem-haw'd about for a bit then just resigned, "No... not, like, in /words/ and stuff."
So, yeah, my maternal unit it a bit of a control noodge, but I am not exactly the best at, like, talking and stuff.

We get her and have brunch-ish. Mum says I am looking good (she lies) and that since I am getting some hair I should let her have someone do something with it. So I take off my touque(sp) and show her that it is only growing in the front. Nothing really to do anything with. I make a mental note to get rid of it all. Hey, I tried to let it alone.

Shopping for food.

No, back up. Mum tries to get us to go clothes shopping now before the crowds hit on Friday. She gets vetoed.

Shopping for food. Mum wants to do a turkey. I want to do fish. She says, "who does fish for Thanksgiving?" I say, "Hello? Alaska? I think there is some whale in the icehouse." Mum cringes. Dad represses a giggle. No, wait... he is more manly than giggling. And that should be "suppresses", not "represses."
We compromise. Turkey.

So, on the way back to the house, I actually /tell/ Mum that she should just relax and enjoy herself. So she tells us how she wants the turkey done and starts "setting up the house for guests."
Dad and I share a private laugh. But at least she it out of the kitchen for now.

Okay, so Mum is arranging for everyone coming over - sleeping wise.
"You know, LQ, if you do not want to share your room with Amy... If you are not comfortable with that..." she says.
"Oh, no. It is fine. It would not be a family get-together without sleeping with Amy."
She raises an eyebrow at me.
"You know what I mean. And no, it won't be weird. I'm not worried about her trying anything. We're cool." And that is probably more than I have ever told Mum about my relationship with Amy.

So, we snack and cook and watch movies and play games and everyone eventually arrives.

Around the Thanksgiving dinner table.
Yes, I know that was a sentence fragment. Get over it.
Re-capping the party members:
Mum and her two ex's (Dad and Amy)
Her brother, his ex (Amy), current (Joan) and offspring (Jill)
Dad, his ex (Mum) and current (Kathy) and offspring (Me)
Amy, her two ex's (Uncle and Mum) and (?) (Me)
Joan, her current, her current's ex and her offspring
Jill and all these weirdos.
Me, surrounded by people who know far too many of my issues, all too well.

Bird is on the table. All the side are on the table. Drink glasses are full and all the places are set. I am the last one up and the bird-carving tools are still in the kitchen. So, I go pick them up and bring them to the table.

There is this... odd... silence as everyone (rug-rat excluded) is looking at /ME/ holding a /great/ /big/ knife.

I roll my eyes and hand the thing to Dad, but there is that moment. That elephant walking through the room.
I sit down, fold my arms across my chest and I think my bottom lip even stuck out just a little and Dad starts carving. (For those who may not know, I am not permitted sharp/pointy things. The failing track record I have with them is evident on my skin.)
Joan serves herself some stuffing then passes the dish. "So... how do you shave?"
After I pick up my jaw, I am actually pleased there was someone at the table over the age of /me/ who was unclear on the answer to that.
But the pleasantries for the next far-too-long pretty much ended there as the dinner conversation was centered around the fact that the seventeen year old (me) was displaying no more signs of puberty than the two-ish year old (Jill).
It did kinda end after the suggestion of getting out the CT scan of my ovaries was thrown out there.
"How about lets not," I say. I did not say, "Hey, lets /not/ get out the pictures of my crotch... again"
There is some debate on the relative merits of looking at the proof that I do actually have them. I give dad a pleading look and he kinda changes the subject and things get better after that, but I still could not really eat. Yep, I was embarrassed. I really tried to not show it, because it really was not anything to /be/ embarrassed about.

Moving on...
After dinner's cleanup was followed by much playing of Rock Band. That was cool. I mean, Mum, Kathy and I were taking turns on the vocals, Amy played drums, mostly and Dad and Uncle mostly stuck to the guitars. Joan rotated through the set here and there while entertaining Jill.

There was over all very little discussion of my inert reproductive system, my bad habits, and (most importantly) the few little gaps I have from the past few days are, well, few, and seem innocuous. Just some, "Earth to LQ - Hello - You in there?" and no one heard me talking to my food - that I am aware of.

I enjoyed a nice cup of espresso with minimal upset.

My bread pudding went over well.

I got to have some of the good scotch - but just a sip.

We did all have Guinness Punch - even Claire (I am such a bad influence - hahaha).

I ate at least something every day.

Friday, my friend Claire came over. Saturday, I went to Claire's for a while.

All in all, much of the long weekend was spent with all of us playing in the snow and me being Amy's pet like I used to. Only, now I am a little more reserved because I know what effect that has on her.

Claire did say it was a little weird seeing Amy kiss me bye. But not much weirder then seeing the general affection I show for Amy. She is way more accustomed to me keeping far more distance from people.

So, everyone is gone. The rest of the putting-the-house back in order will wait until tomorrow morning... after I post this. This was a much better holiday than last year.

Them are the highlights. I'll post this in the morning.
So for now...

Take Care -

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